Exchange Rates Are Important

One of the derpier things about my current job is that, every year, I need to take mandatory ethics training, specifically on the topic of dealing with representatives of foreign governments.

At my level, I can pretty much be sure that I will NEVER be meeting with any representatives of foreign governments, so it chafes me a little to have to take this thing, especially because some of the scenarios are plain weird.  For example, taking a government official to a championship soccer game is a scenario that is given a red flag, basically a Do Not Do This Ever.  That makes sense, by itself, but it stops making sense when one of the very next examples is “taking a government official to an opera performance” and the assessment is that it is perfectly OK to can take the same government official to see women sing in Italian and die of consumption.

I realize that this is not the plot of EVERY opera.  Sometimes, they sing in German and die of consumption.

But wait, you’re saying, the titular character from Bizet’s “Carmen” dies from being stabbed!

To which I reply: First, you are obviously a higher class of reader than I normally get on this blog, and, second, that my assertion is that she was stabbed WITH consumption.  Oh, and thanks for the spoiler you big jerk.

I may have lost the track here a bit.  Anyway.

This year, they changed up the ethics training, which was good because the previous years were non-specific enough that I wasn’t quite sure whether or not – as a person with dual citizenship – I might occasionally be breaking the rules simply by coming to work and doing my job.

On the other hand, two of the new scenarios were really terrible, and I will present them for you as best as I can recall them:

“You are negotiating a contract with a Japanese official, and he suggests that a payment of Y50,000 would ensure that the contract goes to you and not to a competitor.  If you get this contract, you will be able to recoup the money in about three months.  Should you pay the bribe?”

And:

“You make a payment to a Japanese government agency.  In the payment, you include Y5,000 to be paid directly to a customs inspector.  Is this allowed by the anti-corruption rules?”

To which I reply as follows:

“Well, yes, these are both obviously terrible things… but if it’s going to take you three months to make back five hundred bucks and if you’re trying to bribe the customs guy with fifty bucks, there are fundamental business issues here that no amount of mandatory ethics training is going to help with.”

Posted in random, work | Leave a comment

Bioshock Infinite: It’s Awfully Pretty

bioshock-infinite-logo

I originally wrote a massive wall of text here about Bioshock: Infinite, and you can still read that if you want (It’s under the “More” tag), but I read it over and realized that I could sum it up much more succinctly:

Bioshock: Infinite is to Bioshock as Prince of Persia (2008) is to Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time.  It’s set in really pretty environments, you have an attractive companion who follows you around to help and deliver your recommended daily requirement of snarkiness, and it’s excellent in its own right but maybe not as close of a sequel as I’d hoped for.

If you want about a thousand words to say the same thing, read on.

Continue reading

Posted in PC Gaming, videogames | Leave a comment

I Want To Know What You’re Thinking

psychopass

I watch an awful lot of anime that can be described, charitably, as “vapid”, and I feel a little ashamed about this sometimes.

On the other hand, I’m usually watching anime to give me something to take my mind off the fact that I’m working out, so I figure that it’s OK to occasionally binge on yet another high school love-quadrilateral comedy or angst-filled mecha drama.

Psycho-Pass is, therefore, something of a change of pace, because it’s a serious cop show with very little romance in a Gritty Dystopian Future setting.

The “hook” to Psycho-Pass is that, in the ambiguously-close future, we develop the machines capable of reading and evaluating your mental state instantly, and where people are constantly psychologically evaluated as they go about their daily business.  Your potential is determined at a very early age, and your career options are given to you by a computer based on what you will be happiest doing.  As a result, daily stresses such as worrying about your future are largely eliminated.  Privacy is basically gone but that’s just the price you pay to live in an ideal world.

There is, of course, still some crime, which is looked at as a mental illness, and the police carry weapons which read your mental state and determine your “Crime Coefficient”, which then determines the punishment you are about to receive.  If a person’s crime coefficient is low enough, the weapon won’t fire.  Once it goes high enough, the gun unlocks a paralyze mode – or, if your crime coefficient is REALLY high, it unlocks the lethal mode.  The role of the police in this society has been reduced to “catch suspect, point gun at suspect, DO WHATEVER YOUR GUN TELLS YOU TO DO.”

People who are deemed latent criminals – that is, people whose crime coefficient can’t be lowered to socially acceptable levels through therapy – get locked away as they are unfit to associate with normal society.  This can happen quite early, and one character comments that he was determined irredeemable at the age of 5, but it generally doesn’t happen until you’ve been exposed to an awful lot of terrible things.

Quite a lot of police detectives, in fact, tend to wind up in the irredeemable criminal group and get locked up, just as a side effect of their job.

I’m not going to shock anyone, I think, by mentioning that the entire perfect computer-controlled society has a Dark Mysterious Secret, and that the main character is a rookie inspector who eventually and inadvertently stumbles upon The Grand Conspiracy.

What DID shock me was the way that the show uses its “This is all an alternate future and it’s totally 100% fiction” setting as a shield to bring up rather serious topics that modern Japan is dealing with.  Pervasive monitoring, people retreating online and no longer interacting with society, the benefits and disadvantages of guaranteed employment, immigration, self-sufficiency as a tiny island nation, elder abandonment… it’s kind of a shame that I’ve graduated, because I could get SO MANY paper topics from this show, it’s not even funny.

Of course, you can flat-out ignore the social commentary and just watch it as a pretty cool show with lots of action, because it’s good like that too.

Either way, I recommend it.

 

Posted in anime | Leave a comment

I finally have a way…

…to explain to my family and friends what it is exactly that I do for a living.

All I need to do is have them watch this, and explain that I’m the one on the right.

 

Posted in mlp:fim, work | Leave a comment

New Pony Merch

So, I have a friend with a bad habit of going to the San Diego Comic Con on a yearly basis.  He spends a few days at “Nerd Prom”, usually gets some fun stuff to decorate his cubicle / apartment with, and takes a ton of photos.

Last year, therefore, I sent him on a Quest for Derpy.  I have enough dirt on him that he couldn’t say no outright, so he reluctantly agreed and then immediately delegated the actual procurement process to a friend to hide his shame.

I didn’t get a Derpy out of this, because Hasbro had no idea exactly how much demand they would need to try to satisfy.  I did get a rather nice T-shirt as a consolation prize, and I was greatly consoled.

This year, because I make a habit out of emasculating my friends, I sent him on a new Quest for Pony.

It did nearly kill him – at one point, apparently, he was forced to stand NEAR the Hasbro booth to stay in a queue for a ticket to purchase the show exclusive, but con security wouldn’t let anyone stand still, so he had to walk in circles until such time as they started handing out the tickets.

Nonetheless, and here I dismiss his pain with a flippant air, he DID come through and I have new merch in my life.

newponymerch

Remember, this was a character that had, over two seasons, a total of about 10 seconds worth of screen time with absolutely no dialogue, whose name as portrayed here was pure fanon.  Just the existence of this ADULT COLLECTIBLE toy speaks to Hasbro’s grudging acceptance of their entirely unexpected fan base, or at least to Hasbro’s grudging acceptance of our willfully-opened wallets.

It also shows that, when given a chance to build something that doesn’t have to go on a blister card and retail for six bucks, their designers can turn out something pretty impressive.  They went all out with the glitter and crystal highlights, and the four spotlights in the base illuminate when you push the prominent button just to the left of the THIS IS NOT A TOY warning.

It’s very sparkly.

Oh, and my Equestria Girls blu-ray arrived today, so my wife and I sat down and watched the main feature and all the extra featurettes.  I’m happy to report that the movie is still good on a second viewing, and I’m glad to have something other than the IDW comics to last me through the drought between seasons. I realize that I’m a member of a very small group of people who are waiting for November 23rd for an ENTIRELY different reason than most of geekdom, but I like to think that we’re just getting double the nerdgasm on that day.

As a nice touch (and this is my first Shout! Factory blu-ray, so I don’t know if this is typical for them or something new), the Digital Copy provided is just a straight-up MP4 file.  No fussing around with iTunes codes, no weird activation routine, just go to a web site, enter a code, download the file.  Madness!

I started Bioshock Infinite over the weekend, so I’ll probably go on about that in my next post and spare you any more MLP-related posts for a while, but I figured I’d leave you with a photo from a recent vacation which I hope you’ll find delightfully meta.

express

For the record, I had picked the shirt for the day completely at random out of a suitcase full of mostly non-geeky shirts, and we stumbled across this particular marker entirely by chance – it happens to be on the road to Register Cliff.  It just all worked out.

 

 

Posted in mlp:fim, movies & tv | Leave a comment

Everquest Next

It’s been about nine months since The Most Disappointing Keynote Speech ever, where John Smedley confirmed that, yes, EQNext WAS a Thing, but also that he couldn’t say anything about it because they had decided – at the last minute, it sounded like – to scrap much of what they’d done so far and retool.

To his credit, there have been more than a few incidents in the history of the EQ franchise where “ship what we’ve got and fix it when we can” has been the policy, or at least the perceived policy.  On the other hand, it’s been a frustrating time.  I still have an active EQ2 account, and I suppose I could always log into EQ1 now that it’s F2P, but what I’m really looking forward to is a fresh start, where there’s still lots of community excitement and where large swathes of the game haven’t yet been obsoleted by mudflation and level cap increases.

Now it’s about five days out from the Big Reveal at SOE Live.  I don’t expect we’re going to get huge amounts of information, but it’s going to be nice getting something – anything, really – official.

This gives me a few days still to speculate and hope that they will make The Perfect Game For My Precise Tastes.  Here’s what I’m looking forward to:

Races:  From the wallpaper we’ve seen, we know we’re getting a couple different varieties of elves, some of the humanish races, ogres, ratonga and Kerrans/Vah Shir.  I hope we wind up getting most of the eq2 races, though I expect they’ll hold out on at least some of them for future expansions.  I’m betting I won’t be able to indulge my Arasai addiction on day one.  My pie-in-the-sky hope is that each race gets its own home area, or at least that there are a mix of starting areas.  One of the neat things about EQ1 was that if you started, say, a halfling, it was days of playing – or some very clever dodging around high level aggressive nasties – before you saw any other city.  I still remember my Qeynos-to-Freeport run at level 9, then hopping on a boat and roaming around Faydwer, finding Ak’Anon and Felwithe, poking my nose into Dagnor’s Cauldron…

I’m also hoping that city factions are as meaningful and as nuanced as in EQ1.  EQ2 was a little too much black-and-white – if you were welcome in Qeynos, you were pretty much welcome anywhere in Qeynos and Freeport was completely off limits, or the other way around.

Classes: I’d rather this is closer to EQ1 than EQ2.  EQ2 had 25 classes, mostly stemming from the need to have a “Good” and “Evil” version of each class.  I still can’t tell you what the difference between a “Coercer” and an “Illusionist” is, or why you’d rather play a “Bruiser” than a “Monk”.  EQ1’s class system was complex enough with 14.  I’d also like to see more racial restrictions on classes – maybe not as brutal as EQ1’s “Barbarians are Rogues, Shaman or Warriors, full stop” system, but stuff like Troll Wizards never quite sat right with me.

My crazy hope for the classes in EQNext is that every class will have at least One Cool Thing that makes them group (or raid)-desirable even if their primary job is already being handled.  Something to avoid the scenario where you’re setting up for a raid and have a main tank and an off tank and all another warrior is going to do for you is add some sub-par DPS.

Zones: Antonica is a given.  I’d LIKE to get Odus and Faydwer at release, but they saved those for expansions in EQ2.  One of the only pieces of concept art we’ve seen was a shot from (what appeared to be) one of the Faydarks, so that’s promising anyway.  We’ll probably see a mix of contested and instanced dungeons, which leads me to my next wish-list item: a working group finder for dungeons.  There were some attempts at this in EQ2, but the groups it put together were so far removed from the demands of the actual content that it was quickly abandoned.

Oh, and it goes without saying, but nothing outside of the toughest raids should demand The Perfect Group.  EQ1 was bad enough with “Tank, Cleric, Enchanter, 3 DPS”, but the “Tank, two healers,  Enchanter, Bard, 1 DPS” model that the EQ2 community settled on was absurd, particularly when it scaled up to “Two tanks, eight healers, four Enchanters, four bards, six DPS” for raids.

If I am going full-on-crazy-talk time, I’d like the game to be reasonably solo-friendly, just because that’s the reality of the MMORPG market, but to also allow small groups of two or three people to be MORE effective than going it alone.  Many of my best EQ1 groups started with me and another player, tackling what we could, getting more ambitious as we picked up additional players, and scaling back what we were doing as people left the group.

Contested dungeons are perfect for the more organic groups, so I hope we see lots of them.  Soloable stuff near the entrance, stuff that takes a couple of people as you get further in, all the way down to the Big Bads that take at least four people and a fifth and sixth wouldn’t be unwelcome.   Instanced versions of all contested dungeons, with the ability to grind in contested and swap to an instance if you had a full group would be amazing, and instances should be tuned to be doable without requiring any of the gear that drops IN the instance, much less tuned around gear from higher-end instances or raids.   Drunder instances, I’m looking at YOU.

Basically I’d like to get away from the “level entirely through solo questing, and group up only for six-man instances” model if at all possible.

Finally, EQ2’s 12-and-24-man raid sizes were just about perfect.  I have memories of leading 72-man Planes of Power raids.  Note that I specifically did not say “I have fond memories of…”

Class abilities: The spell and combat ability system in EQ1 was hopelessly restrictive, allowing you a maximum of 10 abilities to choose from at any given time.  EQ2’s went overboard in the other direction – most of my characters had at least six ability bars full of things to use in combat.  There needs to be a balance somewhere between “I cast my big nuke, then cast two of my little nuke, then my big nuke has refreshed” and “Well, I use this ability which persists for 20 seconds and is on a 15 second cooldown, so I don’t hit it again as soon as it refreshes, but THIS one must be cast every time it comes up, and THIS one is something that I should only hit if everything else is down, and THIS AE only affects groups of linked monsters while this OTHER one affects all monsters in an area but I shouldn’t use it if there are less than four because it’s less mana efficient than…”

Let’s see, other random wishes…

No instanced guild halls, at least not at the beginning, and – if there must be instanced housing – restrict the amenities that can be put in houses and give people a reason to come out into the cities.

Encumbrance should be A Thing again.  Sorry, monks.

All attributes should be useful.  No “I stack as much AGI and STA as I can and don’t need to worry about anything else”, and also no “Well, I have STR AGI DEX CON INT WIS CHA all at cap, and so does every other player in this group”

Oh, and transparency in what stats do for you would be pretty spectacular.  It’d be nice to look at a prospective item and get a pop-up of “this adds 10 strength, so your melee attacks will hit for x percent more, but you lose 20 agility so you will be hit y percent more often”. This transparency standard should go double for “Gating stats” like the much-reviled Critical Mitigation.

Tons of random NPCs and monsters with no quests attached.  If you run around, say, EQ1’s Karanas or the North Ro – Oasis – Southern Ro strip, you run into all kinds of little settlements and houses and stuff with no purpose to be there other than “hey, this is a good place for a fishing village”, and the original EQ2 zones were like this as well.  It’s OK if stuff is Just There For Flavor.

I guess most of what I’m looking for is “The stuff that was cool from EQ1 and the stuff that was cool from EQ2, but not so much of the stuff I didn’t like from either”, and I could have – and probably should have – said that in WAY less than 1500 words. 🙂

 

Posted in MMORPG | Leave a comment

Cheap Gadgets are Best Gadgets

I have a huge soft spot for unlikely gadgets that fill a very specific need, so I’m a big fan of stuff from Quirky.

OK, well, I’m a big fan in the sense of really liking most of the stuff they put out, but being too cheap to actually buy it.  Their “Space Bar“, just to pick a gadget, is a great example of the three-way intersection of a neat design, a practical use, and a price that I just can’t justify.

That being said, I can’t really say that they’re overpriced, because they certainly seem to find enough customers at the prices they ask.

So, it was rather nice to stumble across a stack of “Cordies” cable managers on the clearance table at my local Staples, because they’ve been on my “I definitely have a use for that” list for a while but I’ve always balked at spending 10 bucks each for something that I can get done with a binder clip even if it doesn’t look QUITE as nice.

At $3, however, I bought two.  They turned out to be nice and heavy (rather heavier than I expected, which is a good thing) and entirely suited for the task of keeping my sync cables from sliding down behind my desk.

cordies

So uh.  I guess I really don’t have anything extra to add other than that, if you like cable management and have a Staples nearby, you could do worse than to check their clearance stock.

Posted in gadgets | Leave a comment

Even for Japan, this is a weird one.

muchimuchipink

For some reason, I keep picking up Cave shooters.  I think it’s because I really liked Espgaluda II and I keep trying to find ones that I’ll like as much.

The problem, I think, is that they really ARE for the niche player and I’m not that niche player.  I just like holding down the fire button and watching things go boom, so – with rare exception – I wind up credit-feeding my way through.

BUT, even when I’m feeling cheap for hitting the Continue button YET AGAIN, I’m usually enjoying myself.  The rare flashes of actually being able to fly down the center of a bullet funnel and come out the other side are payoff enough – it’s like, look at me, I’m not THAT bad after all and then I run head-on into something that I should have seen coming.

Considering that Cave tends to release its home versions at the price of full-on retail games, this is a pretty expensive way to get that rare feeling of competence, so I was glad to pick up several of their titles second-hand a few years ago.  I’ve been working through them as the mood strikes me (about once a year), and the most recent one to get pulled off the shelf was “Muchi Muchi Pork & Pink Sweets” This release was TWO Cave shooters for the price of one, so it’s a little more reasonable, especially since the copy I got was a budget-priced re-issue.

Pink Sweets first, because it’s much less fun to talk about.

Both of these are bullet-hell-style shooters with a Gimmick.  Pink Sweets’ gimmick is that, if you stop shooting, your ship gains the ability to absorb certain kinds of bullets.  If you absorb enough, you can fire a super-powerful shot which also makes a temporary safe zone on the screen that you can hang out in.  This replaces the “Smart Bomb” mechanic that has been a Shooter Thing since, oh, Defender?

I never got very good with this because, while you can absorb certain bullet types, there are quite a lot of types that you can’t absorb and they tend to get mixed in with the ones that you are temporarily safe from, and the combination of never really getting the absorb / shield mechanic and the, let’s be frank, brutal difficulty level meant that I wound up really disliking the game.  I managed to credit-feed my way to the end credits, but I must have continued a couple hundred times over the course of the seven levels, and I started feeling – towards the end – that it wasn’t even worth TRYING to dodge the bullet patterns that were being sprayed at me.

The back of the box describes Pink Sweets as a “Super Erotic Cute Shooting Game”, which should have been much more in my wheelhouse.  As it was, it was just kinda meh.

Muchi Muchi Pork was much more fun, both as a game and as a great example of “Seriously, Japan?”, because it’s a pork-themed cutesy bullet hell shooter.  The characters all have names that are puns on pork-based entrees, the bad guys are all named after food, you blow up robots to free pigs (with little parachutes) which you then collect for points, and your character shouts a cheery “PORK UP!” every time you collect a power-up.

PORK UP.

I could not make this up if I tried.

The central gimmick is your Lard Attack (again, not making this up) which can be used to convert enemies into beautiful fountains of little collectibles that you need to grab for points.

Oh, and the girls – because of course a cutesy shooter has an all-girl cast – have pig ears and, to put it gently, a little extra junk in the trunk.  This is a bit of a change from the “staple two beach balls to a toast rack and call it done” school of character design, so I guess I have to give them some credit there.

Muchi Muchi Pork also has a much more reasonable difficulty level.  I still wound up feeding credits to get through some of the rough spots, but it felt like I at least had the POTENTIAL to get better.  The bullet spray patterns were, well, still pretty good at covering the entire screen, but they had enough gaps that I could quite often find a small safe spot to hide out in, and there were far fewer cheap “and now the enemy comes from the BOTTOM of the screen” moments.  Many of the times I died, in fact, were when I would hit a bunch of enemies with a lard attack, generating the aforementioned collectibles fountains, and I would run smack into a random missile as I tried to zip over and scoop up the goodies.

If I had any gripe, it’s that Cave didn’t make new hi-resolution sprites for the home version.  Both games run in the arcade resolution, which is low-res and has HUGE borders.  I guess it’s good for authenticity (and there’s no helping the borders) but it could have been a MUCH prettier game with some TLC.

I’m likely to pick up Muchi Muchi Pork for another run or two, but I have seen more than enough of Pink Sweets to last me.

 

Posted in videogames, Xbox 360 | Leave a comment

Friendship is Movie.

So, thanks to con-going fans with relaxed moral compasses, I was able to watch “Equestria Girls” this morning before work, a good week before the official home video release.

Technically, I suppose I COULD have gone to see it during its “theatrical run”, but considering that it only played in one theater in my state and that it was a 40 mile drive both ways, I think I can be forgiven for passing that up.

Oh, and there’s the whole 40-year-old guy going to see a movie for 8-year-olds by himself thing. I’d rather not be gently ushered from my seat by the local PD for questioning.

Anyway, asides aside, I quite liked it. I’m not a fan of the “awkward person gets into uncomfortable situations, we laugh at their pain” genre, and there was decidedly a bit where it felt like it was heading right for that cliff, but it recovered. The humanized versions of the main cast took a little getting used to, mind you, but the characters still felt “right” for the most part, and I liked the nods to adult fans of the show.

Plus, watching Twilight deal with life-without-telekinesis was pretty hilarious. Magical alicorn princess with potentially earth-shattering power levels, meet your True Nemesis: the “pull” door.

I am just a little worried about one thing:

We saw her put a hamburger on her tray in the cafeteria. Did she eat it? More importantly, did she like it? Do the cows of Equestria now have a dark and terrible evil stalking them in the night?

I mean, sure, there are pigs on the Apple Family farm, and that’s pretty disturbing when you overthink about it, but at least the pigs have been shown to be unintelligent. Equestrian cows talk.

So, so sum up: It may be a 75-minute long toy commercial for a line of fashion dolls, but it’s at least an enjoyable toy commercial and I liked it more than most of season 3. I’ll watch it again when my Blu-ray arrives in the post to try to catch more of the references, and I’m looking forward to season 4.

I just hope that Twilight doesn’t turn into a serial killer, because that would be a terrible role model for the intended audience

Posted in mlp:fim, movies & tv | Leave a comment

An unexpected benefit to Playstation Plus.

I’ve had a certain fondness, ever since the days of the original Playstation, for the “futuristic racing” genre.  Specifically, the F-Zero and Wipeout series, though I admit to a brief flirtation with Extreme-G.  The fondness is not returned. 

I was pretty good at F-Zero X, back in the N64 days, but that was a rare spark of competency.  Every other time I’ve bought one of these games, I’ve gone through a predictable cycle where I get about halfway through the career mode or through the available circuits, win a lot of races along the way, and start feeling good about myself at just the point where the game actually starts demanding some skill from me and I hit a brick wall, quit playing for good, and rage about how much money I’ve wasted in buying YET ANOTHER one of these things and shouldn’t I have learned my lesson by now and so on and so forth.

Wipeout 2048 comes free with Playstation Plus, so I downloaded it, played it for a few hours, beat the 2048 season, felt good about myself, started playing the 2049 season, got through a few races and then hit one where I came in dead last 5 times in a row and had the game pop up a rather humiliating “would you like to just skip this event?” message.

That’s when I realized that, well, technically I hadn’t paid money SPECIFICALLY for Wipeout 2048, and that I didn’t need to feel like I’d wasted anything by deciding that it was a good time to walk away.  So much less rage.

It is a pretty neat game, though.  I’m obviously not qualified to judge it on its merits as a racing game, but it’s got good music, the tracks are pretty, and it’s scratched the futuristic-racer itch for me for the foreseeable future. 

It’s just a pity that Liverpool Studios has been closed down, because now the only games I have to look forward to being terrible at are F-Zero games, I don’t own a WiiU, and even if they did release a WiiU F-Zero, buying a console just to play a game that I would hate myself for buying would be a new low.

I’m not sure what’s next on the Vita play schedule.  Maybe Knytt Underground since that was also free with PS+.  Dragon’s Crown is coming out in a couple of weeks, too, and that’s Relevant to My Interests…

Posted in videogames, vita | Leave a comment