License Agreements, Rather Clever

On occasion, when I feel that I have been playing entirely too many games which can be described as “it’s a card battle game, with maids” or “it’s a tower defense game, with scantily-clad mages” or “it’s a fighting game, with jiggle physics”, I try desperately to redeem myself by buying indie game bundles from whichever site is currently packing together the hopes and dreams of a half dozen developers and offering them up for the price of a small combo meal at the local golden arches.

Mmmm, it’s been too long since I slapped together a proper run-on sentence like that.

Anyway, sometimes I buy these bundles.  Sometimes I even install and play them.  Usually they’re pretty good, actually, and even when they aren’t I get to bask in that sort of vague self satisfaction that I associate with having Liked Them Before They Were Mainstream, even when I’m playing something like Bastion which rather pushes the boundaries of what defines “indie”.

Sometimes they’re very, very bad.

OK, that’s cruel.  Sometimes they’re just Not At All To My Tastes.  It would be wrong to describe something like And Yet It Moves as objectively bad, after all, just because I was rather terrible at the game.

But I digress.

Anyway, I was scrolling through my Steam backlog and picked a game more or less at random from a stack of “this seems interesting” and, well, I don’t know if the game is any good yet because it’s still installing and I really need to crash for the night, but at least the license agreement gave me a smidge of hope that the developers at least have a sense of humor.

iesabel_license

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Feeling Profiled

So, as mentioned, I bought a Nintendo 3DS for the purpose of playing, for a start, the exclusive Kingdom Hearts game. I couldn’t buy the game at the same time, so I resorted to ordering it and a screen protector from Amazon.

Today, when I went to Amazon to look up details on something else, I noticed that my #1 recommendation was a 3DS, which makes sense, and moreover that Amazon was recommending that I buy the pretty princess pink edition.

Which, I mean, I DID buy the pretty princess pink edition, but I still feel a little put off by the whole thing.

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How To Make Yourself Feel Old

Just re-read the previous post, the one about Kingdom Hearts.  Realized that Phantom Menace came out FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.

Guh.

Going to bed now.  Old guys need sleep.

 

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Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep

kh_bbs_logo

Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep is the fourth game I’ve played in the series, and I was honestly a little skeptical about it going in, but I figured I should get it out of the way since I owned the UMD and it would give me something to do while waiting for KH3.  These are not the actions of a man with high expectations.

I knew up-front that it puts Sora completely on the back burner, not just the KH2-style “Here, play as Roxas for a few hours and then get back to busting up heartless with a gigantic improbable sword”.  Sora’s kind of a dork but he’s the lovable dork that I’ve spent a lot of time hanging out with, so I wasn’t really looking forward to a Sora-free game.

I also knew that it had three main not-Sora characters and that you needed to play through all three in order to get the whole story, which I usually associate with needless padding.

So uh.  How to describe what I actually played, then?

Well, let’s see.  Imagine being in a theater back in 1999 when The Phantom Menace came out, and watching the first ten minutes or so.  Ignoring the rest of the movie, that opening shows you two Jedi who are, well, full-fledged Jedi who are accustomed to kicking arse and taking names, all the stuff that you got only glimpses of and allusions to during the original three movies.

Now imagine that the rest of the movie is actually just as awesome.  That’s pretty much Birth By Sleep.

Sora, for all his lovable dorkness, is the Luke of the series.  He’s from the sticks, he gets a magical sword and he travels from world to world with a kind of gosh gee whiz mister isn’t this neat attitude.

Terra, Aqua and Ventus, by comparison, are trained professionals studying to become Keyblade Masters.  They’re coming in at the start of the story that we got the middle parts of in the first few games, and they’re pretty much treating it like just another job.  Something’s wrong with time and space, they’re the guys you call to clean it up, dig?  They run into Mickey, he’s not KING MICKEY, BITCHES, he’s just another yokel bouncing around the universe without really much of a clue.

At one point, you fight Cinderella’s carriage which has been turned into an evil pumpkin monster.  I’m more of a New Disney guy and not really a huge fan of the classics, but that was pretty cool.

As an aside, Luke IS in the game.  Well, Mark Hamill is, he does one of the voices.  I confess that I didn’t notice until the ending credits rolled.  Leonard Nimoy as the Big Bad Guy stands out a little more.  But I digress.

Um, there’s also a game underneath all the story bits.  It’s pretty good too.  You run around hitting things with a series of improbable swords in worlds pulled out of the Disney Archives. Mercifully, there is no Aladdin world this time.  You get XP, you level up, you buy skills and grind them up and combine them to make more powerful skills so yeah there’s no real surprise there.  Thankfully the card nonsense from Chain of Memories never makes an appearance.

Playing through the game three times was something that I wasn’t looking forward too, but it turned out fabulously well.  All three characters go to the same worlds, but they’re usually slightly before or after each other.  When one of them screws up, another has to clean up the mess, and you get to see the results of THAT from both characters’ perspectives.  It also meant that all the game mechanics I didn’t understand at all on the first story were a little more familiar on the second play-through and second nature by the time I got done with the full story.

Look, I appreciate that pretty much everything done since the first Kingdom Hearts has been tacked on after the fact, and that the game was originally just a “hey, wouldn’t it be cool if we did something like Mario 64 but with Disney Characters”.  On an intellectual level, I know this, but I’ll be damned if Birth By Sleep doesn’t come REALLY close to making me believe like the creators actually had some of this stuff planned from the beginning.

So the end result is, I’m seriously pumped for KH3 now.  I’m also $199.98 poorer, because I found out that Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance is basically the Sora And Riku Go To Keyblade Mastery Boot Camp game and that was the thing that pushed me over the edge into buying a pink 3DSXL and a copy of the game.  Thankfully my tax refund arrived the next day, which I am going to take as a sign that I was MEANT to do this, but I still feel more than a little sheepish about the whole thing.

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Bixies be Crazy, yo.

So, more about Everquest.

As I mentioned a few posts ago, I’m in an era-restricted guild that’s restricting itself to doing raid content in-order, at the appropriate levels, and with appropriate gear. I’ve also gotten a pair of characters to level 100, and I use two AI-controlled NPC mercenaries to give me some extra punch. It’s kind of sad in that it turns a massively multiplayer game into basically a single player game with chat, but it’s letting me actually do modern content in the current expansion at my own pace, which is pretty neat. It’s been a VERY long time since I didn’t feel left behind and I’ve been enjoying the heck out of it.

Anyway, the current expansion is very similar to an expansion from 2003 called Lost Dungeons of Norrath. That expansion featured short, fairly easy, instanced zones that you could round up just about any six players for and have a fair expectation that you would be able to beat the dungeon and earn a special sort of currency that you could spend at expansion vendors. There were loot drops too, of course, but the central idea was that you could basically punch a clock and eventually save up enough of the expansion currency to buy gear instead of sitting in a small corner of a room hoping for a rare monster to spawn and hoping that you would a) kill it and b) beat out the other five people in the group on getting the item you were there for.

It was amazingly popular with the majority of the population, so it was immediately followed up by Everquest’s Worst Expansion Ever, a mind-bogglingly difficult mess that wasn’t cleared by even the hardest-core of hardcore guilds until the expansion AFTER it raised the level cap by five levels.

But I digress.

Anyway, Call of the Forsaken, to put a name to the current expansion, has “Heroic Adventures”, which are basically the same thing. You can grab a few other random people, bash your way through an instanced dungeon with a pretty low risk of failure, maybe get a little loot in the zone, but mostly get currency for gear vendors. It has a couple of static zones to camp rare monsters in if that’s your thing, and those have some nice rewards, but the basic idea is that you should be able to log in, maybe spend an hour or so playing, and make real progress on improving your character.

Also it has bixies.

Bixies are, well, they’re half bee and half pixie and half murderous rage. They’re cute and a little weird and speak with a lot of buzzzzzzzzing and are notable largely for being willing to pick a fight with anything, no matter how one-sided the fight may be. They showed up in a few of the lower level zones in the original EQ (And made a very memorable appearance in one of the harder raid encounters), disappeared for a few years, got a new zone and a new look for The Serpent’s Spine expansion in 2006, and then disappeared again.

Part of the backstory to Call of the Forsaken is that the original bixie clan has gone SO far over the edge that a different clan has shown up to try to bring them back to *reasonable* levels of xenophobia and aggression. This new group of bixies would much rather send adventurers to do the actual dirty work, and that’s where the players come in.

The bixie zones are really, really pretty. They’re full of flowers and rivers of honey and bright colors EVERYWHERE and have a hexagonal / beehive theme to the architecture, and they stand in harsh constrast to the bleak brown ruins and grey dungeons that you tend to see a lot of in fantasy games.

Finally, the missions into the Bixie Warfront get to be a little quirky at times. There’s a particularly memorable bit in one of them where you’re tasked with “debating bixie philosophers”, which can be done either through attacking them or by talking to them. Sometimes talking to them works in your favor, and sometimes you talk them through a logical chain of steps that ends with them thanking you for pointing out that their only reasonable course of action is to try to eat your face.

At which point they try to eat your face.

I’m really glad they brought the insane little adorable homicidal maniacs back is what I’m trying to say.

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Unintended consequences

A couple of years back, I watched an anime series called “Saki”, which was basically a hot-blooded sports show with the sports replaced with mahjong.

It also has AMAZINGLY cheerful music.  It’s over the top and so earnest that it hurts and it’s all about doing your best and never giving up and always looking towards the future and it’s like a motivational speech set to really chipper music all in all.  If I got one benefit from four years of college Japanese, this is it right here.

Last week, I realized that I had the ending song (well, it had three openings and three endings, so the FIRST ending song) stuck in my head, so I looked it up on YouTube and listened to it over and over again to try to get it out of my head.

It didn’t work. Also it was getting annoying hitting refresh every 5 minutes.

On the other hand, there’s also a video on YouTube that is basically all the opening and ending songs stitched together with some static art that changes every couple of minutes, so I would start that in one browser tab and switch back to another tab to get work done. Thus I was only hitting refresh when that ended, about every half hour.  Video not entirely safe for work by the way, as I realized when I flipped to the tab to pause it at one point and the on-screen picture was an onsen scene.   Fortunately nobody was in my cube, but if I get a talking-to by our sensitivity department, I’ll know why.

Also I now have SIX songs stuck in my head.

But I’m feeling way better about life in general.

 

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7 Years Blog

Holy carp, I just realized that this thing is 7 years old today. It doesn’t get as much posted to it since I’m spending my days in an MMO-induced trance but I still see a little traffic.

If you’re reading this, thanks for visiting. 🙂

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Remakes

So I found out today that there is a PS3/PS4/Vita remake of Cel Damage in the works, and I think that’s kind of neat. I had a lot of fun playing the Xbox version with friends and am glad to see it brought back to life.

What I am currently having difficulty with is the concept that the original game came out 13 years ago. It doesn’t FEEL like it’s been 13 years.

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Yes, this DOES count as an achievement.

I was going through a big stack of miscellaneous papers and receipts that had piled up when I found this three-or-four-year-old Toys R Us receipt.

It’s momentous because I’ve actually played and completed EVERY game listed.  None of these are languishing in the backlog, none have been sold off as “never going to get around to this after all”, none were started and put aside.  Done and dusted, all three of these.

OK, that’s a little pathetic maybe.  But I’m going to count it in the Wins column of life.

tbw_receipt

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Days of the Couch Potato

Well, technically, I watch an awful lot of stuff from the none-too-comfortable seat of our exercise bike, so it’s not really being a couch potato so much as it is a way to distract myself from probably-futile efforts to fight off the effects of age and a slowing metabolism.

But, couch potato is a good way to say “I’ve been watching a lot of video entertainment lately” though honestly not as good as just saying that and avoiding inflicting multiple run-on sentences upon the few people unlucky enough to read this site.

So I’ve been watching a lot of video entertainment lately.

I finished Beyond the Boundary and thought it was a good watch.  I don’t know if “Urban Fantasy” is an actual genre label, but I seem to be watching an awful lot of stuff that can be described as “It’s modern life but weird stuff happens that most people aren’t aware of”.  This show qualifies in spades – the main characters are fighting monsters and saving the world and there’s Mysterious Conspiracies afoot, but everyone else in the town is completely unaware.

It’s a little angsty and the last couple of episodes are designed to mess with you on an emotional level, but they’re balanced out by one pants-on-head-INSANE funny episode about halfway through the run.

I’m following up Beyond the Boundary with season 2 of Oreimo, which has absolutely no supernatural elements.  Like the first season, it’s pure slice-of-life comedy / light angst with – at times – a little too much fan service for me to be entirely comfortable with it.  I’m pretty sure that the ending is going to have me furious with how dumb the main character is, but that’s nothing new.

Friendship Is Magic, the show that never should have been as good as it was, is having a bit of a shakey fourth season (and honestly had a shakey third season), but still manages to entertain.  The rumors that Hasbro was taking a much closer look at what gets on-screen may be true, but the animators still manage to stick in a ton of did-I-just-see-that? moments.  It’s a show where paying sharp attention is vastly rewarding.

On my mother-in-law’s recommendation, we sat down and watched the recent Lone Ranger movie.  She usually has quite good taste in film, but this is a movie that got widely panned and has a 37% on Metacritic… Let’s just say that I wasn’t expecting much from it beyond Pirates of the Caribbean On Horses.  What I GOT was a Wacky Western Action Comedy with occasional scenes that I was quite startled to see in a Disney movie, especially one with a significant merchandising tie-in.  It’s a bit of a whiplash moment when you have to adjust from Silly Tonto Antics to seeing native Americans getting gunned down by gatling guns as they futilely charge US Army troops and then back to Johnny Depp being silly.

I still kind of liked it but I don’t think it’s a rewatch.  It kind of feels like it had a couple of different hands in writing it, so I’d actually be interested in finding out what the creators had intended and whether that was anywhere near what they got.

Finally, we watched The Adjustment Bureau, which I suppose falls more-or-less into the same Urban Fantasy genre as Beyond the Boundary.  It got kind of mixed reviews, and if you like your conspiracy theories and mysterious happenings to be explained at the end of a movie you’ll probably hate it, but I liked the way it slowly mixed the Weird and Unexpected into the main character’s everyday life and left most of the explanations up to the viewer’s interpretation.

Next up, I finish Oreimo, scream some at the main character for being an idiot, and then start something else.

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