I am VERY secure in my masculinity

disneyfairies

So, a few months back, my wife and I sat down and watched all of Disney’s CG “Tinker Bell” movies, and quite liked them.  Naturally, I wound up owning a copy of the associated video game once it made its way to Steam, and it has been lurking in the depths of my backlog waiting to bubble to the top ever since.

It’s a very interesting game.  Not so much for the complex storyline, mind you – the plot is limited to “this fairy is mildly sick, collect the components for a cure” and “this fairy would like to bake a cake, collect the ingredients for a cake” and so on for about four hours until the whole thing wraps up with very little fanfare.

What I found interesting is, while it’s obviously aimed at very young children (at least, as long as they can read – there are no voice-overs), the game play uses a lot of concepts from traditionally complex game genres, particularly MMO quest design.

As mentioned, the plot is broken up into “here is a task, please accomplish it” segments, each of which ends with the fairies moving the year ahead another season.

Let us not delve too deeply into how baking a cake might help with the passage of seasons.

Most of the early tasks teach you how to play a variety of mini games, each designed to showcase a particular fairy’s talent.  Tinker Bell fixes things, Silvermist makes dewdrops, etc.  They also teach you to pick things up off the ground, which is littered with assorted leaves, flowers, grasses, and so on, all of which come in a good half-dozen different colors.

This game is brutal on the color-blind, by the way.

As the game progresses, it becomes much more about fetch quests, the fairies sending you for items have longer and more complex lists of things they need, and those things aren’t always immediately available.  Once you learn which forest clearing is most likely to have seeds, for example, you can go there and have a reasonable expectation that you’ll find seeds.  They may not be the particular variety you need for the quest, but you can pick them all up and wait a few minutes for respawn.

You can also switch between characters and trade between them, and this is where the game actually gets pretty complex for its intended age group.  For example, Fawn has an early quest involving fixing beehives.  As a quest reward, she’s given honey.

A few seasons later, Rosetta needs to collect ingredients for the cake baking fairy I keep mentioning.  One of them is honey, and that can’t be found on the ground anywhere.  You need to switch over to Fawn, fly to the same screen as Rosetta, and give her the honey before Rosetta can finish her quest.

Likewise, if you need to clear a screen of items in order to get respawns, the items all wind up in your current fairy’s inventory.  This inventory is persistent, so you can hold on to items for future quests that might use them, or trade them to other fairies who need them to complete their part of the story.

It’s not really a masterpiece.  If you like the Disney Fairies movies, you’ll probably like it.  Likewise, if you have kids who are fans, they’ll probably enjoy it – as long as they can read along with the instructions and aren’t too easily frustrated.

But, in addition to those two obvious audiences, I think it makes a pretty good reference for anyone interested in game design theory… though you may need to grit your teeth and deal with some aggressive cuteness, if that’s not your sort of thing.

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It’s The Great Zapfish, Charlie Brown

WiiU Splatoon Screenshot Great Zapfish

Finished the Splatoon single player mode tonight, after playing it a level or two at a time for the last couple of weeks.  It was a heck of a lot of fun, a good change of pace from the frenetic online multi player modes, and it didn’t overstay its welcome – if I’d really focused and just powered through the 27 platforming levels + 5 boss levels, I could probably have cleared it in a day.

The final boss fight is, um.  Hmm.  Well…

There’s a really fine line between “epic” and “cheap as all get out”, and the final boss rides that line with precision.  It’s a five-stage boss fight where every stage is “do the same thing you did last time, now add an extra twist”, which gets really crazy by the end.  The only thing that kept me from raging out TOO much was that the early bits got to be doable by instinct after a couple of goes.

If you haven’t played it yet, I’m going to recommend going in spoiler-free.  It really was one of the more satisfying boss fights I can remember, and part of it was the process of saying “What is he doing now?  Seriously?” and then figuring out how to deal with that and move on to the next bit.

That’s two weeks owning a console I bought for one game and STILL no buyer’s remorse, so kudos to Nintendo and all that.

Next up, I have eight more levels to get in Turf Wars and I’m looking forward to the “splatfest” over the weekend of June 20th/21st.

I’ll be doing my best for Team Cat.  Was there any question?

 

 

 

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Otomedius Excellent, I want that hour of my life back

Otomedius Excellent CoverAnyone who’s read more than a few posts here might come to the conclusion that I rate games on a) whether there’s fan service, b) if the fan service is relevant to my interests, c) if there’s a lot of fan service, and d) whether or not the game is any fun to play.

This is not far from the truth at times.

Otomedius Excellent is one of the solitary exceptions to the rule, because it is nothing BUT fan service, complete with Yoshizaki Mine character designs and cute girls in glasses riding improbable fighter planes into battle, and I hated every minute of the hour it took to play through the story mode.

I LIKED the first game, Otomedius Gorgeous.  It was a little frustrating at times, but the levels were interesting and the enemy designs were hilarious.  Most of the bad guys were, for some reason, penguins.

The levels in Otomedius Excellent are dull, the enemies are a sea of indistinguishable generic robots, and about the only good thing I can say about the boss fights is that, after a while of fighting them, the bosses get just as bored with you as you are of them, and they leave.

Wait, no.  One of the bosses is a giant space battleship piloted by, in theory, Shiori from Tokimemo.  That would be kind of cool, if the boss was Tokimemo themed in some way, but it’s just a really generic space battleship.

I am at a loss for what possessed Konami to strip out most of what made the first game fun to play.

At least I only spent about twenty bucks on the domestic release rather than importing from Japan.  That’s something, I guess.

 

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Deathsmiles II X – The Lolis Strike Back

Deathsmiles 2X Japanese Xbox 360 CoverIt’s hard saying “Japanese Xbox 360-exclusive” without a massive amount of cognitive dissonance, but the thing managed to rack up a startling number of titles that fit into that category over the course of its lifespan.

Probably 75% of them were CAVE shooters, mind you, and that brings me to Deathsmiles II X, yet ANOTHER game I bought five years ago and am just now getting around to playing.

It’s bloody brilliant.  I know it rubbed a lot of shooter fans the wrong way when it came out, and I will admit that the shift from glorious sprites to polygons robs it of some of its charm, but I play bullet hell shooters for the visual overload and this delivers beautifully.  The game, particularly in its “Arrange” mode, puts thousands of glowing pink-and-blue bullets on-screen at any given time, and stuff is ALWAYS exploding.

Also, it’s Christmas-themed, so the first boss is an evil Santa Claus riding a screen-filling giant reindeer and shooting massive snowballs at you.

That’s probably enough to clue you in to the fact that it’s… not exactly a serious game.  Well, it’s probably VERY serious business for the hard-core leaderboard score chasers, but it’s delightfully silly in its presentation.  There aren’t many games where you fight zombies, demons, gargoyles, giant red boots with festive white trim, animated snowmen AND evil chess pieces, and I didn’t realize how much I needed a game like that to fill a hitherto unknown void in my life.

Somehow – I suspect a bet was involved – this thing actually got released, original Japanese text intact, on the US Xbox 360 “Games on Demand” service, where it can be had for a heck of a lot cheaper than I originally shelled out for it.  I can’t possibly recommend it enough.

 

Bistro Cupid Xbox Box ArtThe other game I put in, mostly to say that I’d at least TRIED it, was the even-rarer bird, the Japanese Xbox exclusive.

I’m not actually up on the genre, but I’d go so far as to say that Bistro Cupid is likely the premiere Restaurant Management/Dating Sim/Dungeon Crawling game, barring perhaps only its direct sequel.  I can’t say much else about it, because I only played for about an hour, which was just enough time to be introduced to a good dozen cute girls, attend the grand opening of my restaurant, upgrade my kitchen, start an advertising campaign to bring in some new customers, learn how to make pudding, fight some monsters, buy a hot dog and get turned down by the first girl I asked out on a date.

I honestly think I might be able to get in to this if there was a guide, but it came out in 2002 and the English-language internet is almost completely void of any resources on it.  It has a single review on Gamefaqs and is mentioned on the Xbox 360 backwards compatibility list on Wikipedia, but that’s about it.  It took ages to even find a poor-quality scan of the front cover for this post.

Anyway, that finishes up my library of imported Xbox and Xbox 360 games, and I don’t think I’ll be making the pilgrimage back to Akihabara for more any time soon.  Next, I’m going to try to get through the US games I have, and then I get to have a lot fewer consoles hooked up and fighting for HDMI inputs. 🙂

 

 

 

 

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THE iDOLM@STER Fan Service For You!

The_Idolmaster_Live_For_You!_coverI played through the PSP version of The Idolmaster a few years back, and it was quite a rough game to get though as a non-native speaker.  It’s very text heavy and you are frequently given dialog options with a very short time limit to make a decision.

Even ignoring the language barrier, it takes a long time to shepherd your chosen idol through her rise to stardom, and it involves many tedious minigames and not much actual music.  The last thing I wanted to do once I’d finally gotten Ritsuko to the top was to start over with another character, much less work through the process twice more so I could manage a trio.

Live For You is almost an apology for the pain of the first game.  It’s a straightforward rhythm game that lets you throw any combination of idols on stage, with any costumes you like, and just lets you have fun tapping along to happy, energetic music while your chosen characters perform on screen.

It’s also famous for throwing achievement after achievement at the player.  If you don’t mind being super cheesy, you can get a full 1k gamerscore in a couple of hours.

I am not super cheesy, so it took me probably six or so hours.

idolmaster_lfy_1000

Even if it WAS super easy, I’m still quite happy to see a 1000/1000 on my Xbox Live gamer card.  The last time I managed to do that in any game was, um, seven years ago, and that was only because you cannot play through Phantasy Star Universe WITHOUT getting 1k.

The rhythm game was a little on the tricky side, especially on Hard.  While the songs can’t be as fast as Project Diva songs – the characters in Idolmaster games are voiced by humans who are subject to, you know, the laws of physics, whereas Miku can sing at 240bpm, the note charts are complex and timing demands quite exacting.

On Easy and Normal difficulty levels, it’s not that bad, but it’s still easy to slip into a bit of a Can’t Blink, Will Break My Combo mode and start resenting the fact that the cute girls dancing and singing are distracting you from the stream of note symbols that you’re trying to hit.

Moving on.

It’s nice to finally get this off the backlog.  I went on a bit of a Japanese 360 games binge when I was living there in the summer of 2010 and I’m finally coming to the end of it.

Next up, unless I have a change of heart, is Deathsmiles IIX.  I may also put Bistro Cupid in and give it a spin for a bit, and then I think I get to put the Japanese 360 away for a bit.

 

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More gushing about Splatoon

I’ve been playing at least 90 minutes of Splatoon every night for the last week, and I really can’t say enough nice things about it.  I’ve gotten up to level 12 in the multiplayer, finished the first two sets of single-player levels and started on the third, and even done a few of the Inkling Girl Amiibo challenges.  I’m a bit behind the curve of the hardcore – I see quite a few level 20s in matches these days – and I haven’t even touched the ranked mode, but I don’t feel compelled to rush.

As a fan of lame jokes, I’m in love with the announcers who pop in every two hours to let you know what maps are currently in rotation.

Splatoon Screenshot Squid Sisters

…even if the puns occasionally hurt.

Splatoon Screenshot Squid Sisters

I also found out that, if you go up to the windows of the studio where they hang out between news broadcasts and look in, they eventually notice you and wave.

Splatoon Screenshot Squid Sisters Waving

I need a high-res cleaned up version of this for desktop wallpaper.  Seriously, want now.

 

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Welp, liberated France.

After three play sessions, I wrapped up Call of Duty 3 tonight.

It did have a few less-than-stellar moments scattered throughout.  Treyarch felt compelled, for some reason, to put little QTE segments in when you were doing stuff like placing explosive charges, and they got pretty tedious after the first couple.  The later levels also featured a LOT of moments where I was waiting for someone to come over and kick open a door so I could walk through it, which is one of my pet peeves when it comes to games.

Even with that, I don’t mind saying that it wound up being one of my favorite entries in the series.  Recent CODs have focused heavily on the player being part of some Super Elite Special One Man Army Ninja Warrior Force, saving the world from nuclear annihilation or what not, and that’s cool and all I guess, but I kind of liked being Just Another Grunt, with a bunch of other grunts around me, trying to push the Germans out of France.

I’m not saying that I don’t have CODBLOPS3: Now With Even More Futuristic Guns on my wishlist for later this year, because I did like the stuff they did with the 20-minutes-into-the-future stuff in both BLOPS2 and Advanced Warfare, but sometimes it’s nice to just pick up a M1 Garand and help a Nazi take his helmet off.

I don’t have many 360 games left on the backlog, so I may focus on wrapping that system instead of jumping right into CoD1.  Between Splatoon matches, of course.

 

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Math is a harsh mistress

Hmm, second work post in as many days.  Bad habit.

Anyway.  This might be a bit mean-spirited, and I’ll apologize for that in advance.  I had an annoying day and my normal good spirits aren’t what they normally are.

At any rate…

I was chatting with a co-worker today when another person walked up and asked us if we could help with a math problem.

They have a square gazebo with posts 9 feet apart, measured from the inside edge of one post to the inside edge of the next, like so:

math1

And they want to buy a pool to put under it, and they don’t mind if it hangs out the sides.  It will be a vinyl pool, so it can be folded up a bit to get between the posts.  Their one criteria is that it can’t touch any of the posts.

So, what they want is something like this:

math2

It actually fell to the co-worker I’d been chatting with to come up with the quickest way to solve this one.  He pointed out that we could think of three of the posts as the corners of a triangle, and solve for the hypotenuse as follows:

math3

And so, we proudly presented the petitioner with our answer: They could have a pool 12 feet in diameter and have a good three or four inches between the wall of the pool and the posts.

And the person who had asked us to do math looked at our diagram, and reflected upon it for a moment, and then spake thusly:

“Thanks, but I really wanted to get a 14 foot pool.  Do you think that would fit?”

There’s really no helping some people.

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So this is what motivation feels like.

My job involves a lot of use of WebEx, which is actually a pretty decent remote access package.  My only complaint about it – that it was really tedious to review recorded WebEx sessions – was wiped out when I discovered that you could download a conversion program to make WRFs into MP4s that you could then scrub through with a real video player rather than the official, terrible, WebEx player.

My company is moving to a new version of WebEx, and to commemorate this, we had a – I am going to use the official word here – “celebration” where they dressed up one of the meeting rooms in a Hawaiian theme and dished out ice cream and generally tried to be festive about what was, to be honest, a rather non-festive happening.

We all got raffle tickets, because there was a raffle.

The prizes for the raffle were, appropriately enough, webcams and USB headsets.  Not poor quality ones, either, rather nice ones.

There was, of course, one tiny catch – these weren’t to take home.  Rather, you were entering a raffle to have a chance at a better webcam or headset to use at your desk for work purposes.

So that was the highlight of the day.  Presumably tomorrow I will get to arm wrestle other members of my team for a box of clicky pens or perhaps some of those nice spiral-bound pads.

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3 CoD Monte

cod3boxFor a guy who doesn’t play a lot of military-themed shooters, I’ve been hitting the Call of Duty series pretty hard this week.  It’s a good way to grind through the backlog, and it’s interesting seeing how the game series has evolved over time.

Going back to Call of Duty 3 after playing so many of the modern entries is a big step back in some ways, especially production values.  It’s not a great looking game – let’s be charitable and say that the visuals are, um, “functional”, and I somehow doubt that there’s going to be licensed music playing over the ending credits.

It’s also a much slower-paced game.  I don’t think there IS a run button – if there is, I haven’t found it yet – and the act of aiming feels like trying to push an oar through molasses.  Fortunately, the enemies are also prone to standing still and there’s a lot of aim assist.

It also doesn’t seem to feature respawning enemies, which is a HUGE change of pace.  You can take your time with each encounter, without feeling compelled to always rush forward to cross the next invisible line to turn off respawns.

It’s possible that I’m just not seeing the respawns – I am playing on easy, for the sake of expediency, after all – but I honestly think they’re just not there.

This game got a lot of bad press back in the day, and I had pretty low expectations going in.  So far, I have been pleasantly surprised at pretty much every turn.

Still, I’ve only finished 5 out of 14 levels.  Plenty of time left for disappointment.

 

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