Teriyaki McBurger, Ebi Filet-O

In Narita Airport, on the way to the gates for flights to the US, there is a small sushi restaurant.  It has a sign which bills it as your “last chance to enjoy good sushi and sake before you leave!!”

This sign is a lie.  I fell for it on my last trip.  The sushi was of questionable quality, and the prices were exhorbitant – they would only have been slightly above average if they were the price for a pair of pieces of sushi, which is the way that sushi is normally priced, but they go the extra step in fleecing you – they’re priced by the single piece.

On the other hand, there’s also a McDonald’s restaurant in Narita airport, and they serve both sandwiches that I had mentioned to me the other day – the Teriyaki McBurger and the Ebi Filet-O.

How could I pass up this last chance to subject myself to potential intestinal discomfort?

Neither one is particularly complex in construction, so I’ll skip the bulleted list format for them.


The Teriyaki McBurger is made up of a bun, a hamburger patty, some lettuce and some teriyaki sauce.  I think there may also have been some sesame dressing in there.

It’s the work of a few bites to finish off, and reasonably tasty – not something I’d get hooked on, but inoffensive.

The Ebi Filet-O doesn’t mess with the bun + patty + lettuce + dressing formula, though the dressing is mayonnaise-based (I think, perhaps, Thousand Island dressing, a choice I have no complaints with) and the
patty is, well, it’s shrimp covered with breading and deep-fried.  Presumably, it’s lots of shrimp mushed together into each patty, unless there actually ARE shrimp that flatten out to be a circle roughly 3 inches in diameter.  I guess that’s not huge, and I don’t know much about shrimp.

It’s nice and crunchy and shrimpy; it wouldn’t be out of place on an American Skipper’s or Long John Silver’s menu really.  For McDonalds, though, I suspect it will remain a uniquely Japanese offering.

Actually, in America I’d expect cocktail sauce, which sounds quite good on this thing now that I think about it.

Overall verdict: If you like shrimp, you won’t be done wrong by the Ebi Filet-O.  If you like Teriyaki, there are worse choices than the Teriyaki McBurger.

Posted in food, Japan, vacation | 2 Comments

A 41 hour birthday…

I keep saying to people that I’m doing the Louis Wu thing for my birthday, and thus far nobody has gotten it.

For the benefit of, well, everyone who hasn’t read Ringworld, and for those people who HAVE read Ringworld and don’t get the reference anyway, the book opens with the main character trying to make the most of his birthday, literally, by using a teleportation transport system to move ahead of the coming midnight and stretch it out as long as possible.

I don’t have access to Puppeteer teleportation discs, and so far I haven’t been pressganged into running off to explore any ancient alien artifacts.  Apart from that, though, I’m doing pretty well at it.

If I’ve got my math right, I had 17 hours of birthday until my flight left Tokyo at roughly 5 PM, 9 more hours of birthday on the flight over, and I’ll have another 15 hours of birthday until the clock ticks over to midnight on June 22.

41 hours of one’s birthday is pretty good.

June 21 also marked the opening of the public days of the Tokyo Toy Show at Big Sight.  Doors were set to open at 9AM and I had to catch a bus to the airport at 11:40.

I had the option of getting up early, hopping the Yurikamome to Big Sight, trying to get in the door right at 9, getting maybe 90 minutes of frenzied looking around at all the Cool Stuff, and then making a mad dash back to the hotel and hoping to catch my bus,

In what I think is a sign of Impending Maturity, I elected instead to sleep in, have an early lunch at my favorite Tokyo katsudon restaurant, wait paitiently for my bus, and enjoy a well-rested ride to the airport.

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Akihabara – One Last Time

I’m in that “I’m packed up and don’t want to try to squeeze anything more in” state of things, so I really didn’t need to go back to Akihabara. In truth, I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t had a directive to go there, but it was also nice to take a last look at it for the trip.

When you leave Akihabara Station, you have to pass through the Maid Gauntlet. This is where girls in maid outfits try to hand you fliers and pretend they’re not thoroughly creeped out by their prospective customers. I guess the girls on flier duty have it easier, really, they’re not the ones who are giving out the massages and reflexology “treatments” and eye exams and guide services and so on. I turned around after I passed the last one and took this shot, facing back down the gauntlet. Unfortunately, apart from the one in foreground, you really don’t get the effect – maybe you can see a frilly headband here and there, but the mass of people kind of obscures the whole thing.

Those guide services I mentioned, that’s taken directly from a flier that got handed me. For Y2000 every 30 minutes, you can have your own personal maid to go on a “date” with you – she’ll go shopping with you, do karaoke, have dinner with you “and so forth”.

I’m guessing that the “and so forth” stops well within the realm of the tame, at least, for those prices. I saw a couple of guys who obviously considered it a reasonable fee to have a girl in a maid outfit hanging off their arm, and they looked happy enough; who am I to criticize?

I wound up in an arcade because I wanted to find an Otomedius machine. This is a shooter that’s gotten plenty of coverage on western game sites, because it combines Gradius gameplay with Yoshizaki Mine character designs.

Two minute’s googling would turn you up plenty of examples, but I went to the trouble of ignoring a clearly posted – in clear, correct English, even – NO PHOTOGRAPHS sign to give you this picture of an advertising standee:

I played through the first three stages before getting a game over sort of screen – I suspect it’s because I had to use a continue to get through the third stage and that if I’d managed it without continues I would have gotten more stages, or something.

Ignoring the cute girl factor for the moment, it’s a lot of fun, a 2.5D sort of horizontal shooter affair with lots of 3D characters that move between the backgrounds and the foreground play. The enemies trend towards the weird – lots of penguins, for some reason – and the bosses are appropriately massive screen-filling affairs with glowing weak points that shout “shoot here!”

It’s coming out for the Xbox 360, at least in Japan. It had better see a US release, damnit.

I had a guy hanging over my shoulder waiting for a go at the machine, so i bid it a sad farewell and went off in search of small things that I could stuff into niches in my suitcase and use up my small change on.

I happened across a bank of capsule toy vending machines; these are evil soul-sucking devices that take your yen and give you pretty much exactly every possible toy except the one you want. The first time I was in Japan, I sunk probably twenty bucks into one that had Gainax characters in it, trying for a Noriko from Gunbuster with no luck. After I gave up, my wife – who had no vested interest in ANY of the characters, an important point – put money into the same machine and a Noriko popped out, first try.

I digress. The particular capsule toy vending machine that caught my eye was a Haruhi-characters-in-nekomimi capsule toy vending machine.

I have some simple rules about nekomimi: They’re a simple way to add moe factor to an anime or game character, and it’s generally successful. When a real, live human tries to pull off the look, though, it has something of the effect that a bright red patch has on a frog: It says, “Poison here. Avoid.”

This doesn’t apply to the hard-working staff at Cafe With Cat, however.

But there I go digressing again. Anyway, I saw this machine, and it offered up the option of Haruhi, Nagato, Mikuru, or Tsuraya-san figures in nekomimi.

Assuming I’d get a Tsuruya-san, I put in my Y300.

Out popped a Haruhi. Not bad, I thought to myself, and here I have Y900 left in Y100 coins, let’s see what else comes out.

The second and third were also Haruhis.

While I guess that’s better than three Tsuruya-sans, a man only needs one of these. Arguably he does not even need one, but that goes down that whole road that leads to admitting that I don’t NEED ninety percent of the stuff I own:

Anyway, I had Y300 left and was thinking very unkind thoughts towards the evil machine by this point. Fortunately the fourth round popped out a different character; a Nagato this time, and I beat a hasty retreat.

On the way back to the hotel, there was a nice fog effect around Tokyo Tower, so here’s a shot of that. They’ll be turning off the lights on Tokyo Tower and several other big tourist attractions from tomorrow through the 7th of July, so tonight was the last night that it’ll be lit up for a while.

Thus endeth my final night in Tokyo.

Posted in anime, haruhi, Japan, nekomimi, vacation | 2 Comments

Fun things from Koganei

While I was on my quest to find Studio Ghibli, I passed lots of neat “Only in Japan…” sorts of things. Here are some of them.

First, the 24 hour NPC. In the land of the console RPG, I can’t believe that this name for an self-service parking lot is entirely coincidental.

Speaking of parking, here’s an inventive way to maximize use of space: double-decker bike parking.

I kept seeing cars roaming the Koganei streets with the logo of a driver training school plastered all over them. When I accidentally wandered on to the premises of the school, I got to see this display of cautionary road signs:

Some of these make perfect sense. Some do not. The one in the upper left could be “Beware of marching bands.” The one in the upper right sort of looks like a stylized ram’s head… “Watch out for aggressive sheep”, maybe?

They’re mysteries to me.

THIS is a help-wanted sign.  Not for a maid cafe, or a nekomimi massage parlor, or anything of the sort – it’s for a serious package delivery service.  I’ve seen plenty of their trucks around Tokyo, and the drivers are generally stoic-looking older guys.  This sign makes me wonder about them a little bit:

No “Hey look at those wacky Japanese” post would be complete without some vending machines.

Here’s one where you can buy 10kg bags of rice:

And this one was set up in front of one of the neighborhood farms near Studio Ghibli, just in case you need a quick produce fix:

Lastly, if you ever need to take the family cat in for a tune-up, why not take it to a General Pet Service Station?

I needed an excuse to put some of these up – thanks for humoring me.

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Stalking Miyazaki

I needed something to do today, on my last full day in Japan.

I did get a task from my wife – “go buy me a new gadget”, which was not a simple task, but one which I have accomplished, the new gadget even being something she’s probably forgotten she asked for, and also something that she’ll just have to wait until I get home to find out about.

I needed something more challenging. Something like finding the front door of Japan’s most prestigious anime studio, Studio Ghibli.

The wikipedia entry for Koganei, Tokyo, says the following:

“The famous Studio Ghibli has its studio near the Higashi-koganei station.”

I can now report that this is 100% true. I can also attest to the fact that it is incredibly well hidden – I had the address and it still took me three hours to find it. Granted, it took me two hours of wandering before I even got in the right neighborhood – Japanese street layouts not being what you’d call intuitive – but even once I was in the right neighborhood, on the right block, I still walked past it twice.

The neighborhood around Studio Ghibli is, well, exactly what I would expect. It’s full of small backyard farms and playgrounds, with a few tiny apartment buildings. Some of the streets have dirt paths, under trees, instead of sidewalks, and you don’t have to go too far to find a small river with the biggest damned koi I have ever seen.

It’s IN Tokyo, but it feels incredibly rural.

Its presence is announced by the following small sign:

I didn’t see this sign until after I’d decided that the building it was in front of MUST be the right one, by the process of eliminating all other buildings in the area as possibilities. Here’s what the front door of Studio Ghibli looks like:

This does not exactly leap out at you when you’re passing by; it hides behind foliage. It looks more like a quiet private residence whose inhabitant loves gardening.

Here’s a corner view:

If you’re standing in front of the building, looking in to the lobby, you can see more signs that you’re in the right place – a giant nekobus, a hanging sign that looks taken straight from the window of Guchokipanya bakery, framed animation cels on the walls…

I used to drive past Disney Feature Animation, in Los Angeles, on the way home from work. That building is huge, capped with a massive wizard’s cap from Fantasia – you can see it for miles, but to get to it you’d have to pass through gates and armed security and all manner of measures designed to keep the riff-raff away from the studio.

Getting into Studio Ghibli would involve swinging open a small cast-iron gate and knocking on the front door.

Somehow, that was enough to keep me politely at bay; I took my photos and left.

If you ever i feel like repeating this little pilgramage, I will say this to you, because half the fun of hidden places is in the finding of them:

“The famous Studio Ghibli has its studio near the Higashi-koganei station.”

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Wendy’s Double Cheese Curry Burger

I live my life by a set of simple rules.

Stuff like “by default, be nice to people” and “don’t spoil the end of movies for people who haven’t seen them” and “girls with glasses are automatically about twice as cute as girls without”

But those aren’t the rules that cover today’s situation. Today’s Rule To Live By is this:

“Curry loves me, and wants to be my friend. Curry would never hurt me.”

I say this because, after yesterday’s disaster with the McGutPunch (with egg), I was a bit gun-shy – but, while passing a Wendy’s here in Tokyo, I saw that they had a line of advertising banners up for their latest limited-time sandwich, the Double Cheese Curry Burger.

They also had a guy standing out front trying to get people to come inside to try it. I love that about Tokyo, the fast food joints will have someone standing on the sidewalk shouting the daily specials and exhorting the passers-by to come in and eat them.

However, despite his obvious energy and the innate seductive aura surrounding the Double Cheese Curry Burger… This was around 11 AM, and I was headed out to go traipsing through little obscure suburbs of Tokyo. It didn’t sound like a good idea to have one just then, but I kept it on my “to do” list for dinner.

Dinner time found me back at this very same Wendy’s, ordering a Double Cheese Curry Burger Set Meal with Diet Pepsi.

As presented on the tray, it looked like this:

Neat and tidy, right?

Open, it looked like this:

This was either going to be glorious, or the second worst idea I’d had all trip.

Let’s run down the contents:

  • A bun. Nothing unusual there.
  • Onion Rings. Not something I expected, but not unwelcome.
  • Lettuce. Sure, something green is a good idea.
  • Shredded cheese.
  • Two hamburger patties.
  • Mayonnaise, because the Japanese believe that mayo goes with EVERYTHING.
  • And, of course, a healthy helping of curry sauce with onions and mushrooms in it.

It was… It was wonderful. Granted, messy as all get out – they were smart enough to toss a couple extra napkins on the tray – but a GOOD kind of messy, not the greasy Am-I-Done-Yet-Can-I-Go-Now? greasy monstrosity that was the McGutPunch (with egg).

It gets my highest recommendation, and I say that several hours later having suffered no ill effects.

Because, Curry Loves Me, And Wants To Be My Friend. Curry Would Never Hurt Me.

Posted in food, Japan, vacation | 7 Comments

Why I shouldn’t be a tour guide.

I didn’t spend all day making poor food choices.  I make THOSE on the spur of the moment.

I spent most of the day trying to play tour guide, and succeeding right up until the point where I got cocky.

Let’s rewind a bit, say six months or so.  I had a whacky plan, zany even: I have plenty of friends and family who are interested in Japan and such, why don’t we do a group thing and ALL do a trip to Japan at once, so I can get them past the “oh my god how do I feed myself and get around in a weird foreign country where all the signs are written in kanji?” stage.

This plan was going along great until the dollar crashed and people started realizing how expensive a trip to Japan would really be.

So, all of my friends cancelled out, and my sister cancelled, and in the end it was just my father and me going to Japan – but due to some problems with making my reservation, I wound up in Japan a full week before him.

So, really, from the point of view of the original plan, abject failure.

On the other hand, I did get to use my father as a guinea pig for my tour guide skills, and I got to revisit some parts of Tokyo that are OK to see once on your own, but you wouldn’t go to a second time by yourself.

We started by getting from his hotel, the Sakura Hotel near Jimbocho, to Tokyo station and buying him a suica.  This is a little card that I’ve mentioned before, it’s essential to travel around Tokyo even if you happen to have a JR pass because it works on all the lines the JR pass doesn’t work on, like the subway and the Yurikamome monorail.

After this, we took the Yamanote around to Ueno and the Ginza Line subway to Asakusa, where we surfaced for Senso-ji.  It was, as usual, full of throngs of people, but more throngy than usual because it seemed as though at least two schools had sent their students there for a day of being cultural, which is to say that the boys were hanging out in groups trying to culturally outmacho each other and the girls were hanging out at the fortune-seller buying fortunes and giggling in highly cultural fashion.

The next generation of Japan rests in their hands.  It’ll work out, somehow, it always does.

But, on with the main account:  We hung out at Senso-ji while he got some photos in, then had lunch at a cheap lunch counter where I showed him how to work the ticket machine to order food.  I now know that he won’t be starving during his trip, and that he has the means to get around Tokyo, so I feel pretty good about those things.

From there, we took a water bus to Hinode Pier.  We didn’t take the Himiko, which turned out to be for the best – the Himiko is closed to the elements, so it’s hard to get any photographs while you’re on board, and it doesn’t have an English running commmentary as you go down the river, so it’s not terribly gaijin-friendly.

The regular water bus lets you get up on deck and look around, and it was a perfect day for it.  My father’s camera battery died not long into the voyage, but since we have very similar cameras and I’ve already taken the trip once on my own, I swapped him my own, fully charged battery for the rest of the trip.

Afterwards, we retreated to my hotel where we put a partial charge on his battery and recuperated a bit – I tend to walk fast in Tokyo and he has a bad knee, so I’m a bit wearing to follow around.

Afterwards, well, we’d done Asakusa, of course we needed to do Tokyo Tower.

To get to Tokyo Tower, you go past Zojoji Temple, which is normally quite stunning.  Right now – not so much.

Tokyo Tower, well, you go up, you look around, it’s very high and the elevators are quite crowded.  If they actually do tear it down in a few years, there will be quite a few elevator girls and professional “point you in the direction of the elevator” workers put out of work.

We made a few more stops before things went wrong.  We took the monorail around Odaiba so he could gawk at some of the more funky architecture out that way and the still-vacant lots on what has to be the most expensive real estate on earth, Akihabara so he could get a new camera battery and a larger memory card… all was going well until we got to Shibuya.

We did the requisite photo-with-Hachiko and took him through the Shibuya Crossing – these are accepted touristy things – ate, and then, well, I decided he needed to see Tokyu Hands.

There are a few minor flaws I will admit in myself.  One of them is an unwavering faith in an internal compass which has proven to be quite inaccurate at times.  Another is the tendency to assume that streets will always be laid out in a nice grid and there will always be a way to turn in the direction you want.  The third is a complete unwillingness to turn around and retrace my steps to get back to a known starting point.

When we started off for Tokyu Hands, I made the joke that, the last time I’d gone walking at night in Shibuya, I’d ended up in Harajuku, and wasn’t that funny?

Half an hour later, when we got to Harajuku station, it was a little less funny.

At least, on the way, we went past this business.  I’m not sure what they REALLY do, but I hope it’s not what they have on the sign.

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Mega Tamago

My dear readers:

I would like to say that I am writing this from the comfort of my Tokyo hotel room.

The sad truth is that there is no place on earth that could be comfortable right now.

I have, once again, in an effort to report on the topics people really want to know about, delved into the seedy underbelly of Japanese fast food.

But I delved too greedily, and too deep.

Tonight I tried the Mega Tamago.  In a land where food portions tend to the smallish, McDonalds has tried to go in exactly the opposite direction.  The Mega Tamago – or, as it will be called from now on, the McGutPunch (with egg) – consists of:

  • A top, middle, and bottom bun.
  • Three hamburger patties.
  • A fried egg.
  • Two strips of bacon.
  • Cheese.
  • And some pathetic scraps of lettuce, glued into the whole thing with sesame dressing.

It didn’t have any flavor of its own, except what the sesame dressing provided.  The rest of the contents could as well have been inert slabs of any vaguely textured material – their only purpose was to be greasy, and greasy they were.

I had been provided with a single napkin; it was rendered useless before I was half done with the monstrosity.  I found myself grateful for the packets of advertising tissues I’ve collected during my stay.

I ate it – it is more accurate to say that I forced it down. I ate the fries, thankful in so many ways that they were salty and crunchy. I drank my cola, and now… now I have regret.

Not plural, as in “I have regrets” – I have only one regret, and that is that I ever laid eyes upon the McGutPunch (with egg).

If I were, say, a youth of seventeen again, I could probably have eaten the thing, and possibly enjoyed it enough to order a second.  If I were a youth of seventeen again, and wound up NOT able to handle it, at least I could have blamed it on the foolishness of youth.

As a theoretically grown man, I have no such resilience, and no excuse.

Tomorrow, who knows?

I may rise from this a stronger man, ready once more to seek out the worst Japan has to offer.

I’ll let you know then.

Posted in food, Japan, vacation | 3 Comments

In which, our hero tempts fate.

There are plenty of ways one can tempt fate.

The most common is to precede any action with the phrase “Hey, y’all, watch this.”

To my credit, I didn’t do that.

On the other hand, I did blindly assert to my wife that finding her the soundtrack for the anime “Twelve Kingdoms” would be NO problem in Tokyo.

I may have, in fact, scoffed just a little bit at the suggestion that I might have difficulty.

I set out this morning with the intention of finding that for her, and getting some shopping in along the way. Small surprise there, I’m sure.

The smart shopper in Tokyo is aided by the existence of numerous “Recycle Shops”, basically operations that deal in used goods – CDs, manga, DVDs, toys, and so on. If you’re a little behind the cutting edge of fandom – as I typically am – you can pick up last year’s Hot Must Have Items for a quarter to a half of their original price.

This has its downside – nothing like seeing stuff you paid full price for selling for peanuts – but its upside as well – feeling justified in having waited to get something as you pick it up for, as mentioned, peanuts.

Particularly enjoyable was the CD recycle shop in Nakano Broadway that was selling several bins of anime soundtracks for Y300 each – or Y300 for 3, essentially a “buy one get two free” sale. It was mostly mid-90s anime and voice actor CDs, with a particularly strong emphasis on Hayashibara Megumi albums. I’m a fan, I stocked up.

That was also the first place I checked for the Twelve Kingdoms soundtrack. They didn’t have it, used or new, but I wasn’t worried too much because Mandarake has a huge CD and DVD shop in the same building.

I struck out at Mandarake, too.

I was starting to build up a nice bundle of Mosaic.wav and Kotoko albums for me, but I was going to feel really ashamed if I went all the way to Tokyo and couldn’t deliver the goods for my wife.

It was time for the gloves to come off. I went back to Akihabara.

K-Books didn’t have the soundtrack. Neither did Liberty, or Trader, or Gamers, or a bunch of other small stores that I tried. I was even checking the “rare items” showcases, where these places show off stuff you don’t really WANT to pay for, but might be forced to pay for.

I was a broken, defeated man, and heading to get some dinner, when I passed the Akihabara branch of Animate. Looking at their store directory, I saw “Anime CDs – Sixth Floor.”

I thought to myself, do I really feel up to climbing to the sixth floor to be disappointed again?

Then I thought about going home and saying “Hey, I couldn’t find the ONE LITTLE THING you asked for, but look at all this stuff I got for me!”

And I hit the stairs.

Animate, at least, had a divider in their CD section for Twelve Kingdoms, but it didn’t look like they had the soundtrack. They had a drama album, and something that looked like an image album, but that was it.

Then I realized that there was a small spacer next to the divider, and that, upon pulling it off the shelf, it said, essentially, “for the Twelve Kingdoms soundtrack, take this to the register.”

I did this, and upon doing so the reason I’d had so damn much trouble finding the soundtrack was revealed.

For whatever ungodly reason, they packaged the thing in a DVD keep case. I shouldn’t have been looking in the “rare” sections of CD shops, I should have been looking on whatever shelf they kept CDs in weird packaging. I would still probably have looked right past it – anime DVDs are hideously expensive in Japan, so for sanity’s sake I tend to gloss right over them.

Nonetheless, my quest ended on a high note.

Then I went to Cafe Mai:lish for dinner. There wasn’t a line today, so I got to walk right in.

I may have stared a bit at the girl who greeted me as I entered, I’m sure they kind of expect that, but I wasn’t staring out of lechery – I was staring because she was wearing some sort of weird purple dress trimmed with fake fur.

I realized very quickly that it was a theme day – no maid outfits today. All the staff was in Idolmaster cosplay outfits and, of course, the classical music that they usually play was replaced with Idolmaster music.

I actually LIKE the music from Idolmaster, but it did kind of spoil the effect the place usually has, which is sort of an oasis in the middle of Akihabara where you can recuperate from the madness. Having the staff in cosplay mode brought the madness right on inside.

Also, there wasn’t a Ritsuko, which was unforgivable.

Oh, and some outfits – purple things with fake fur trim, for example – should be left in the realm of the virtual. For sanity’s sake.

No pictures today. I’ve been to Akihabara and Nakano Broadway on previous trips, I didn’t think I needed to spend more memory card space on them. Nothing much has changed. The Asobit City near the station seems to have shut down, but their other branch is still there. I thought for a little bit that the Messe Sanoh doujin-soft shop had closed, too, which would have been a disappointment, but I finally found it a couple of blocks away from where I thought it should have been.

Tomorrow my father comes to Tokyo and I get to show him around. I think I’ll spare him the maid/cosplay cafe experience, or perhaps I’ll spare the maid/cosplay cafes the “my father” experience. Either way.

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Windows Update and the EEE

Windows Update can officially go to hell.

When I turned on the EEE for the first time, it had about 2.5GB free on a 4GB disk.  After letting Windows update run free, I’ve got a whopping .5 GB free.

When I get back to the states and have access to an external DVD drive, I’m going to have to run the recovery disk and zero this thing back to a known state, then be a little pickier about what updates I allow.

I’m really quite glad for the 4GB SDHC card that came free in the box, if I didn’t have that, this PC would be pretty close to unusable now.

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