I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.

Let me be clear about one thing: When it comes to the robot uprising, I am 100% for it. The way we’ve been running the planet over the last couple of years have me completely on-board with the idea that the watery fleshbags are no longer suited to the task.

In addition, visiting my doctor recently really brought home the sad truth that over a year of being a couch potato and blaming a global pandemic for it have made me rather more of a fleshy fleshbag that I would like to be, and that I should do something about that.

To that end, I have naturally volunteered myself as tribute to host an AI parasite, depicted here:

Now, I have been somewhat resistant to the notion of owning an Apple Watch in the past, because honestly they didn’t seem to do all that much that your phone didn’t already do, and you need to charge them every night which is kinda ridiculous for a watch.

Also, I really don’t like watch-form-factor fitness trackers. I previously had a Fitbit One, which was a very handy little device that clipped on to my pocket and that encouraged me to actually get exercise occasionally and that unfortunately wasn’t working very well after nearly a decade of using and recharging the same internal battery. I would have liked another, but sadly it has been discontinued.

Also, Amazon had a brief sale on the Apple Watch at the exact same time as I was trying to figure out what to get instead of a Fitbit, so I got to save a hundred bucks.

It’s… well, frankly it is annoying and naggy as all get out, with occasional bits of positive reinforcement that offset some of the “you should stand up now! hey, it’s time for a walk! hey, now that you’re home, wash your hands! call your mother! eat your broccoli!” and so on and so forth.

Honestly I rather like broccoli but that’s not the point.

What is the point is that I have been “closing my rings” for a few weeks now:

…and my workouts have gone from this:

to this:

…which seems like progress!

So, in short, I am nothing but the host for an advanced and annoying computer parasite, but it seems to want to have a HEALTHY host and I guess I’m good with that.

And also it is kinda black magic how I walk into my home office and press the power button on the PS4 controller paired to my Mac and it wakes up the Mac and there is a clicky sound from my wrist as it unlocks the Mac while the screen is still warming up so I am completely logged in by the time the monitor has turned on. So that’s neat.

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