One Hour With X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I usually don’t take notes while I’m playing a game, because I’m usually trying to play the dang thing – I’m not a professional reviewer and this isn’t a review blog despite all evidence to the contrary.

That being said, I only have about a half dozen Xbox360 games that I haven’t played yet, and I found X-Men Origins: Wolverine in the same bargain bin I pulled Venetica out of, so I figured I’d put it in the machine next and see what it had to offer.

The very first words on the screen upon pressing start were:

“In the not too distant future”

And I knew I had to break my rule.

This, then, is my notes from the first hour of playing – in order and without explanation.

…In the not too distant future, next Sunday, AD, there was a guy named Lo-gan, not too different from you or me…

OK, I probably wouldn’t do that to a guy.  Or that either.  Oh my.

Oh good, there are pots to break

Hey, a crank to turn to open a door!

Hey, another crank! But the handle is missing. Whatever shall I do?

Guys with machetes, guys with guns, more guys with machetes, GIANT EARTH ELEMENTAL?

Oh, it is my brother, the cold blooded killer.  Despite the fact that I have just slaughtered like a hundred guys, we are completely different people and I find his disdain for human life repulsive.

Hey, a sacrificial girlfriend!

Now I have motivation to kill more people!

At least she didn’t get stuck in a fridge.

Oh good, my old military commander is offering me a deal to help me seek revenge.

Curse your inevitable betrayal!

More guys with machetes, really?

Oh, good, I have leveled up enough and have skill points that I can spend on something or other. Seriously, this is just a reskin of something, right?

Man, I have an impressively rendered ass.

Oh, look, a crate to push.

And now I’m in a vent.  When are secret military bases going to learn that vents shouldn’t be big enough to crawl through?


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