I usually don’t take notes while I’m playing a game, because I’m usually trying to play the dang thing – I’m not a professional reviewer and this isn’t a review blog despite all evidence to the contrary.
That being said, I only have about a half dozen Xbox360 games that I haven’t played yet, and I found X-Men Origins: Wolverine in the same bargain bin I pulled Venetica out of, so I figured I’d put it in the machine next and see what it had to offer.
The very first words on the screen upon pressing start were:
“In the not too distant future”
And I knew I had to break my rule.
This, then, is my notes from the first hour of playing – in order and without explanation.
…In the not too distant future, next Sunday, AD, there was a guy named Lo-gan, not too different from you or me…
OK, I probably wouldn’t do that to a guy. Or that either. Oh my.
Oh good, there are pots to break
Hey, a crank to turn to open a door!
Hey, another crank! But the handle is missing. Whatever shall I do?
Guys with machetes, guys with guns, more guys with machetes, GIANT EARTH ELEMENTAL?
Oh, it is my brother, the cold blooded killer. Despite the fact that I have just slaughtered like a hundred guys, we are completely different people and I find his disdain for human life repulsive.
Hey, a sacrificial girlfriend!
Now I have motivation to kill more people!
At least she didn’t get stuck in a fridge.
Oh good, my old military commander is offering me a deal to help me seek revenge.
Curse your inevitable betrayal!
More guys with machetes, really?
Oh, good, I have leveled up enough and have skill points that I can spend on something or other. Seriously, this is just a reskin of something, right?
Man, I have an impressively rendered ass.
Oh, look, a crate to push.
And now I’m in a vent. When are secret military bases going to learn that vents shouldn’t be big enough to crawl through?