…maybe?

There was a bit of a rambling rant here about what the existence of this item means for us as a species, but I couldn’t make it funny and eventually took it out back and shot it.  It was for the better.

Anyway. Pumpkin Pie chapstick is a thing.  You can buy it.  I’m not sure I’d advise it if you actually have dry lips.  Stick to cherry, which works better.  If you just like pumpkin pie spice flavor, knock yourself out.