So, Tuesday, in the space of about 60 seconds, I found out way more about a Japanese classmate’s vocabulary, fetishes, and imagination than I ever expected to.

See, we were covering a new grammar point, basically “Have you, in the past, done x?”

And to practice this, we were doing drills, from the textbook, in pairs.

And it’s mostly stuff like “Have you ever eaten octopus?” “Have you ever taken a train?” and we’re supposed to answer with the answers from the textbook, as provided.  It’s repetitive but I think it’s good for you.

Anyway, I’m doing this grammar practice with another guy from the class, who is a decent sort.  He’s a little advanced beyond where the class is, which makes him a good partner; he corrects me if I flub which is really handy.

Anyway, we’re going back and forth, and it’s his turn to ask me a “have you ever?” and he gets this big-arsed grin on his face, because the question is “Have you ever been a waitress” and the answer is “Yes, five years ago.”

So he asks me if I’ve ever been a waitress, and of course, I answer yes, five years ago, and that’s when he decides to get cute and – in mock surprise – ask me if I’m being serious.

I answer yes, of course, I’m serious, and switch to English to say “in frilly uniform.”

He gives a derisive snort and replies “Yeah, I can just see you in a hadaka apron.”

There was a pause, as if the universe were holding its breath.

Then he unleashed a wail of pure agony and buried his face in his hands.

Apparently he’s cursed with a vivid imagination.

And apparently I don’t look very good in a hadaka apron.